Apache family, ca 1886 If you read my books, you know I have a real problem with Crocs. I can't stand looking at them. It has to be one of the ugliest shoes ever made, second maybe only to that Dutch Frankenstein monster called the wooden shoe. When the New Seminole (NS) hijacked a semi truck along Alligator Alley and discovered its hideous shipment of Crocs in a rainbow of colors, instead of retreating in horror, they took armloads with them and started wearing them in the Everglades. Yeah, they were great for trampling through mud and water but it was real hard for me to take any of the NS seriously after that, especially when they saw themselves as the modern day version of Geronimo's small Apache band. The only thing the NS had in common with those poor, starving Natives on the run from Uncle Sam was our leader (Busimanolotome Osceola was tough and brave like Geronimo) and the fact we were on the run from the same bastard, too. But then we also looked like a bunch of big-footed clowns trampling through the swamp.
And now, the aesthetically challenged minds behind this hideous clodhopper have introduced high-heeled Crocs. Of course, Nokosee-- who took a liking to the original versions back then-- reminds me that since Crocs now have a high-heel, they will help keep NS feet dry and only wished they'd come out with them in camo.
I look him in the eyes to see if he's BSing me but that guy can keep a straight face better than anyone I've met. And since I've already seen him and his dad wearing the original chokeamokes, it's not too hard picturing my big hunk of man traipsing around the swamp in these high-heeled abominations from hell.
And now, the aesthetically challenged minds behind this hideous clodhopper have introduced high-heeled Crocs. Of course, Nokosee-- who took a liking to the original versions back then-- reminds me that since Crocs now have a high-heel, they will help keep NS feet dry and only wished they'd come out with them in camo.
I look him in the eyes to see if he's BSing me but that guy can keep a straight face better than anyone I've met. And since I've already seen him and his dad wearing the original chokeamokes, it's not too hard picturing my big hunk of man traipsing around the swamp in these high-heeled abominations from hell.
It makes me shudder and I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As for me, give me camo platforms anytime.
As for me, give me camo platforms anytime.
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